why i rise

There's a strange, wonderful collision of familiarity and newness that takes place each morning as I rub night dreams out of my eyes and leave my gold-tinted dorm room to take on the unknowns of a fresh day.

Two days before I moved to school, I found myself in a tsunami of absolute fear and doubt. "Mom, I can't do this," I said weakly through a curtain of salty tears. "I can't do this." My mama listened to my plight, nodding in understanding, never taking her eyes off of my own, swimming and reddened. As I buried my face in a handful of Kleenex, she reminded me of truth: "Living on campus is new, but campus itself is familiar. Your classes this semester are new, but a college class schedule is not. You will make new friends, but you have so many from last year who will welcome you home with open arms."

The tsunami waves subsided as I listened to these words of affirmation. The "I can't"s shrunk and the doubt was replaced with a renewed sense of confidence. "I can," Truth whispered. I can.

And I did. I've been at college for four weeks now, and I can't imagine myself anyplace else. Some days are more difficult than others, but I have an incredible community to love, guide, and support me if the waters start to rise again.

And I have my God.

I am bolstered by courage granted by the King of Peace. I know little, but of this I am certain: I am exactly where I need to be. Even though the Unknowns sit perched on my shoulder whispering their lies, I know that my truth lies in Him: truth which weathers storms and prevails over the greatest uncertainties and fear. He is my greatest pride, and He is why I rise. This is an exciting season of newness and growth, but if the winds of change must come, Bethel is the best place to ride out the storm.

photo by David Eldridge