after words

"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. 

Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

-Martin Luther King, Jr.

Since 1am this morning, when it became apparent that Hillary could no longer win, I've been struggling to come to terms with the results of the 2016 presidential election. I am hurt, and frustrated, and scared, and I feel a sense of incompletion. Like there are things that remain undone. As if there was something someone could do, even now, to turn this whole thing around.

I've been looking for someone to blame. Passing people as I walk across campus, posing a silent question; "Is this your fault? Is this your fault?" Wondering, with each new face, if this person is part of the reason Donald Trump will take office on January 20th, 2017. Wondering if they were one of the millions of people who voted for him. On my predominantly white, Christian campus, I probably passed more than a few people who were. It's hard to trust, easy to doubt.

I spent the day in between classes refreshing my social media, watching posts flood in from both - all - sides (keeping in mind that there were never just two "sides" to this election season). Friends, family, and strangers joining the conversation to share their thoughts and feelings. Some joyful, some sad, some angry, many confused. I spent the day battling wave after wave of emotion as I came into contact with all of their hearts; bared and broken and swollen. My own heart shrinking, then swelling, then shrinking again.

Hopeless, disappointed, frustrated, scared, uncertain. Unable to rest on one set truth. Because right now, it seems as if there is no such thing.

We never thought we'd get here.

Failure is certainly not an easy thing. In her concession speech at the New Yorker Hotel in New York City, Hillary Clinton expressed disappointment in her loss of the presidential race. She then, with the utmost grace and poise, acknowledged Trump's victory by calling the audience to "look to the future," and saying that "we owe [Donald Trump] an open mind and the chance to lead." In the midst of my own frustration and disappointment, I am able to say that I fully agree with this statement. In class today, my professor allowed some time for us to share our thoughts and feelings about the last twelve hours, and one of my classmates wisely said, "We have to respect the position that he's in. He's going to be the president, and that's not a job that everyone can do." Failure is painful, and it is humbling, and we wish it wasn't us. But we would be ignorant and unwise to think (or continue to think) that we're above anyone else, because thinking that we're better only brings us down lower.

That being said, even though many of Trump's values do not align with my own, I recognize that I owe him respect as my eventual commander-in-chief. He will be president, and that isn't a job that just anyone can do. There is a reason that he was elected, regardless of whether I'm able to discern what that reason is or not (hopefully he'll reveal it to us within the first few months of his term). Protesting and rioting in the streets will do no good. The votes have been counted, the election is over, and we've had a day to process. Now we require a peaceful transition of power.

BUT.
That doesn't mean give up.

I know people are afraid of losing what they've worked so hard for the past eight+ years to gain. So at the same time as we begin to work towards a state of unity and peace, we must hear an urgent call to hold tight to our values and the things we are passionate about. The results of the election do not change you as a human being. You are still you, and you must continue to be you and to fight for what you believe in - just as you always have - despite this transition of power. Despite the brokenness that many of us are still feeling (and will probably continue to feel for a long while), now is not the time to sit in silent shock. Now is not the time to sit stationary, endlessly refreshing the Canadian immigration website until it works again. Now IS the time to show up, right where you are. Now is the time to love. Refuse to let hate and discrimination and bigotry and pain win.

So this is my call to you.

SHOW UP. Be respectful, but be real. Refuse to let fear have the last word. Fear and pain - they are warranted in light of a trauma or shock. Pain and fear allow us to know hope, because without first knowing dark we cannot possibly know light. But darkness cannot be our anthem, even when things don't work out the way we'd like them to (on a scale of epic proportions). They cannot be our way of life. Fear must be expressed, and then joined with love, and then processed, and then overcome by love. Love and love and love and love.

In her speech this morning, Hillary said, "I count my blessings every single day that I am an American, and I still believe, as deeply as I ever have, that if we stand together and work together with respect for our differences, strengthen our convictions, and love for this nation, our best days are still ahead of us. I believe we are stronger together and we will go forward together. And you should never, ever regret fighting for that. My friends, let us have faith in each other, let us not grow weary and lose heart, for there are more seasons to come and there is more work to do."

Amen, sister.

And thank you.