communication

Most of us learned to talk at a very young age. But it is my opinion that these days, people have forgotten how to talk. I don't mean "talk" as in small talk, such as the weather, or the latest gossip or drama, or how much you hate your new teacher or your class schedule. Everyone does quiet enough of that. I mean "talk" as in really speak. People don't talk to each other anymore. Everyone expects everyone else to say something; everyone is listening. Not enough people are putting themselves out there, taking risks, and actually communicating.

The handful of people that actually do know how to talk have another problem - they only know how to do it virtually. Irish playwright George Bernard Shaw once said, "The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place." In our technology-based society, people are so used to texting and e-mailing and tweeting and Facebooking that we've become accustomed to abbreviated thoughts. Things get lost in translation because we are so used to communicating quickly, and keeping messages short and concise. People don't have the patience to sit down and write a thirty-page email expressing their opinions about a new law that was just created, and why they feel the way that they do, and no one has the patience to sit down and read that thirty-page email, either. So we cut things short and leave stuff out, and then important things get lost in 21st-century translation (that's what I'm calling it, if you don't mind). That thirty-page email turns into a single Tweet; "THE NEW LAW SUCKS. I HATE OUR GOVERNMENT." No one receives a full idea or or opinion because you can't TRULY express an entire thought in 140 characters (or less). 


I don't know why people are afraid to talk. I don't understand why it's rare for one friend to say to another friend, "Hey, I need to talk to you about this thing. Face-to-face, so you can hear my words and the emotion behind them, and see my face when I'm saying the things that I need to say." Or even simply, "Hey, we haven't talked in a while. I want to hear about how your life is going right now! Want to go out for coffee and catch up?" It's really not that hard. It's not that scary. Chances are, you won't get turned down. Communicating in person is SO much more satisfying than texting or Facebook messaging or even Skyping or Face Timing (I don't personally count video chat as a "face-to-face" conversation, despite the name being FACE Time. Sorry, Apple. But gold star for your effort to restore "in-person" human communication).

Communication is SO. IMPORTANT. Communication is how we move ideas from person to person. Communication is an important key in successful relationships - romantic or otherwise (refer to Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet to see the effects of lack of communication in a relationship). Communication is necessary to have between members of a team and within organizations and businesses. Despite what you may think, communicating your true thoughts, opinions, and feelings to people actually makes things LESS awkward! You and your partner have been fighting a lot lately. Tension is high. Neither of you are happy anymore, and you avoid eye contact at dinner. Why is that? Talk to them about it. Sit down with them and ask each other questions. Talk freely. Explain your side of the story. You're feeling excluded from a group at school. Have a polite word with the kids you feel are excluding you. Who knows? You might just make a few new friends. You're a co-captain of a high school sports team, but you're feeling overpowered by your other co-captains. You aren't being given the space to contribute your thoughts and opinions during practice. Hold a captains meeting after school and explain your situation. Make sure your voice is heard so it can be heard during practices, too. If you and your best friend are arguing, don't settle for texting or Twitter DM'ing to try to resolve the conflict. Invite them over so you can sit down across from them, look them in the eyes, and talk it out.

Don't hide behind the keys of your computer or iPhone when you should be talking to someone about your issue in person. Don't let Siri fight your fights for you. Don't neglect to speak up for yourself in tough situations, even if it might be hard to get people to listen. Don't keep your powerful, meaningful opinions and ideas in your head, when they could be having a hugely positive impact on the world around you. Don't be afraid to speak up, speak out, and communicate with your fellow human beings. 

Be good to each other, help each other, talk to each other, and listen. You'll be surprised at what a difference it makes in your life, and in the lives of others.