how to feel pretty

In the past, it's been relatively difficult to get up every morning, look at myself in the mirror, and say, "Hannah, you are pretty." As an adolescent girl growing up in modern day America, pretty much every day of my life, I am bombarded with things like tips to make my hair grow longer, a new soap to make my skin stay clear, a special bra to increase the appearance of my chest by two whole sizes. There are diets and workout regimens and cleanses to "slim that waist!" and "get a bigger butt!" This new eyeliner will give you sexy, smoky cat eyes that guys just won't be able to resist.

I've been told by society that who I am - original, unadulterated me - isn't good enough from the very start. In this day and age, it is so hard to feel good enough.

I bought into those "buy me, get beautiful, get better" beauty hoaxes for a few years. Majorly when I was going through my totally-insecure-I-don't-know-who-I-am-in-this-big-scary-world middle school phase. I tried all the acne washes and put weird vegetables in my water bottle to try to look like the skinny, sunshiny, bubbly girls in my Teen Vogue magazines. I was constantly worrying about what other people thought of me, and what I looked like to everyone else. In seventh grade, it took me on average ten minutes - I kid you not - to put my hair in a simple ponytail for school, because it had to be perfect, and it had to be pretty.

And then suddenly, somewhere between December of ninth grade and the end of that same school year, something inside of me clicked, and I stopped worrying so much about what other people thought of me, and what they saw when they looked at me from across the room. I started to realize that the only opinion of me that really mattered was my own.

To help me come to that realization, I guess I've been having to make a few small lifestyle changes. Some of those changes I made knowingly, but others, I made without fully realizing it. They just felt like the right thing to do for me. I've been surrounding myself with people that build me up, people who help me feel more comfortable in my own skin, people who make me feel like I don't have to hide behind a mask of makeup or tight, uncomfortable clothes, and people who just generally make me feel good about myself and about life. I've been doing more of what I love; making music, organizing, writing, spending time outside, and dreaming about my future. I've been wearing clothes that make me comfortable and happy. I've been wearing less makeup. I've been pushing my own limits, taking some risks, and doing some pretty crazy-fun things as a result. I've been feeling happier, prettier (inside and out), and more free.

I recently stumbled across this one video on YouTube. The woman speaking and acting in the video is Anna Akana. Her semi-weekly videos are very short, but full of meaning and incredibly inspirational. In this particular video of hers [the one that inspired me to write this post], she outlines her basic beliefs on the concept of "pretty." "I think pretty is a mindset," she says. "And I think that mindset can be achieved by putting in a little effort here and there. And with a lot of self-acceptance." That line alone really connected with me, because when I heard her say it, I realized that that's exactly what I've been doing (along with the little lifestyle changes I mentioned earlier). I've been on a road to self-acceptance. And the more of me that I come to accept and appreciate, the prettier I feel and the more positive my outlook on life becomes. That may sound a bit dramatic; outlook-on-life and all, but it's the flat-out truth. Self-acceptance really does play a huge part in how you live your life.

It's been a long an arduous journey to self-acceptance and self-appreciation. Of course, the journey isn't over yet. I still have a considerable distance to go before I fully come to love myself for who I truly am. But if I'm honest with myself - and you -, I really think that I've made a lot of headway in recent months. Making those little lifestyle changes to make myself happier and make myself feel more comfortable in my own skin have been some of the best things I've ever done for myself. And I will continue to make those simple little changes until I reach the point where I can look at myself in the mirror and say, every single morning, "Hannah, you are pretty," and believe it.

"Feeling beautiful is having more confidence, taking more risks, is going out and being friendlier, and having a better life, because you'll have a different attitude and a different perspective on the world, and it starts with loving yourself first." -Anna Akana

Click here to watch the video that inspired this post by YouTuber Anna Akana. <-- seriously, it's great.